Dream

I didn't sleep well last night, keeping waking up the whole night. I think I had some dreams. I don't remember what exactly happened in my dream, all I can remember is that there're many people in it, but all strangers. I remembered I saw some face, but don't recognize him. I just felt so tired this morning when the alarm woke me up.

I used to have dream every night when I was sleeping. And I can always remember the dream I had.

There was one time I always had the same dream over and over, and it scared me a lot. In that dream, I was back in China. The background is the building where my parents live. I'm looking for my parents. Everything seems so real in the dream, exactly the same building in real life. They live on the top floor, no elevator. I start to go up stairs, I go and go, but the stairs turns so weird. Sometime it goes up, sometime it goes down. I can see the door of the apartment, but no matter how I turn on the stairs, I just can't reach it. Many times, it seems that I only need to go upstairs for one more floor, the door is right there, but then the stairs starts to lead down. It's like a maze, and I can't get to the end. Sometime in my dream, I climb, I jump, finally when I reach the door and ring the bell, the person who opens the door is NOT my mom. My parents don't live there any more. And I don’t know where they move to, they were just gone.

I was often startled and waken up by those dreams, feeling so much pain inside the heart. I cannot breath. It feels like that they left me and I can never see them any more. In the middle of night, I would stare at the ceiling and try very hard to calm myself down and hold the urge to call them. I don't want to scare them or let them worried. The dream is so vivid in my memory. Even now, when I’m writing it, it just appears in front of my eyes, and still scares me.