除夕之夜，教会安排了很多免费表演，我们也顺便去Joseph Smith Memorial Building里看了一两出，但因为都是与教会信仰有关，所以我们没有久留。步出演出厅，一位面貌和善的老人拦住了我们，自告奋勇地问我们需不需要tour。我一直觉得参加tour要比自己瞎逛学到的东西多，看看大家都没有反应，就答应了下来。老人看上去很兴奋，一直把我们带到了顶楼。到了顶楼，他找了一个舒适的位置坐下，开始向我们宣传起摩门教来。他说摩门教的传教士到世界各地去传教，都是从自己腰包掏的钱，从不向教会那一分钱，而教徒们每年则要将自己收入的10%捐给教会，我想这也就是为什么摩门教这么有钱，修得起这么富丽堂皇的教堂了。老人在讲起他们夫妇在Florida传教的时候，因为没有什么收入，教会又不给钱，不禁激动地哭了起来。我实在是有些不理解，我想他之所以这么激动地要哭，一定是想起那段日子过的有多么的艰难，一定是想起那快要撑不下去了的时刻，可是什么原因使他们没有放弃呢，即使日子过得如此平穷，却还一直坚定着他们的信仰？可是我一直没有机会去问他。老人不停的在和我们讲着，而我的同伴们却时不时的催促我们赶快结束谈话，可我们连一点机会也找不到。我想他的子女一定不在身边，他不常常有人陪他讲话吧。我不禁又思念起我的父母来，我和姐姐们都在国外，他们也没有小孩在身边，尽管我几乎每个星期都打电话回家，可每次他们接到我的电话还是止不住的兴奋，若有一方正好不在家另一方都会惋惜不已。我几乎每年都回去，可每次打电话他们都会问我下次什么时候会去看他们。看着眼前这个老人，想起我的父母，觉得他们真是可怜，觉得人老了真是可怕啊！若是听老人讲话，能带给他一些安慰和快乐，不也是一件好事吗？我想William和Jing一定和我有一样的心态吧，因为他们和我一样都在耐心的听老人的故事。老人的太太一定看到了我的同伴们的催促，出面中止了老人的谈话，我们和老人告了别，回到了building的底楼。
一楼有一个Family History Library，在那儿你可以查询自己的祖宗八代，看看你有否和哪个名人有关联。我尝试着想查一下我的家谱，可是第一系统没有中文输入，第二我的姓氏zhang太过普通，一查跳出来好几页。我想来想去，决定找个特别点的名字查查看，于是决定用复名--慕容。我在电脑里输入murong，随后按了search健，结果还真跳出了两条关于murong的信息，我正得意着呢，突然发现此murong非彼慕容也，此murong是一老黑的last name，郁闷!
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
犹他行 -- 盐湖城 (1)
2005年12月31日
犹他行的最后一站是犹他首府--盐湖城。这是我第二次来盐湖城了。第一次是在99年的夏天，现在想来好像是很遥远的事儿了。那一次是跟的tour，走马观花，记得只在教堂外照了张模仿教堂顶上小金人儿的照片，还有教堂内的大管风琴着实让我流连忘返了一阵儿。这一次也其实只是路过盐湖城，由于我们从moab开车回湾区路途遥远，所以定了在盐湖城的旅馆，在此歇脚并度过新年。
到达盐湖城已经是下午了，等我们把旅馆搞定后，天色已开始转暗，我们匆匆向城内赶去，希望还有机会去参观一下著名的耶稣大教堂（Church of Jesus Christ）。车还没有驶入市中心地带，我就已经远远的看到了教堂顶上的小金人儿了，这不仅使我想到上一次来的情形，真叹是匆匆岁月，物是人非啊！
7点钟，彩灯准时亮起，大教堂在深蓝的夜幕和炫目的彩灯下显得格外宏伟壮观，被夜色衬托的小金人儿也更显辉煌。大家纷纷驻足掏出相机狂按了起来，我没有做任何拍照准备，只带了可以随身携带的小相机，连三脚架也留在了车上，所以只有随手按了两张，照片不是很清楚，只能在脑海里印下这美丽的景象了。我们去参观了摩门教的North Visitor's Center，了解了一下摩门教的历史。19世纪时，由于宗教种类众多，摩门教的创始人Joseph Smith十分困惑，不知道该加入哪一个教堂，于是他祈祷上帝祈求帮助。上帝因此而赋予他权利，让他根据自己的理解去翻译“The Book of Mormen”，这也就是摩门教和摩门圣经的由来。在此之前，我只知道摩门教的另一位元老，Brigham Young，之所以知道他，是因为那曾经到中国来演出的杨柏翰大学舞蹈团了。那可能还是我读小学时候的事儿了，那个时候的中国远远不像现在这么开放，有一个美国来的大学舞蹈团表演跳舞是很大的新闻了，所以我那个年代的老老小小都知道有这么一个杨柏翰。再后来听到这个名字是上一次来盐湖城的时候了，那时对摩门教一点儿都不了解，只知道摩门教徒一个老公可以有四个老婆，只要是男生路过这儿都愿意留下加入摩门教。来了之后才知道，其实那早已不适用正规的摩门教徒了，只有一个摩门教的旁教还在沿袭这一传统。而一夫四妻这一习俗也是由于摩门教创始后遭到其他教派迫害，当时的也是摩门教第二代精神领袖Brigham Young只能带领大家往还很原始的美国中西部迁移，以逃避迫害。由于旅途遥远艰险，致使很多男性因疲劳疾病致死，从而留下众多女眷。我记不太清是因为女性不可以单独争得土地还是因为她们没有能力开发土地，总之那些存活下来小部分男性就担当起照顾众多女性的责任，因此也就出现了一夫多妻制。后来因为社会发展没有这个必要后，摩门教也就废除了这一制度，所以现在也只是一夫一妻制。
犹他行的最后一站是犹他首府--盐湖城。这是我第二次来盐湖城了。第一次是在99年的夏天，现在想来好像是很遥远的事儿了。那一次是跟的tour，走马观花，记得只在教堂外照了张模仿教堂顶上小金人儿的照片，还有教堂内的大管风琴着实让我流连忘返了一阵儿。这一次也其实只是路过盐湖城，由于我们从moab开车回湾区路途遥远，所以定了在盐湖城的旅馆，在此歇脚并度过新年。
到达盐湖城已经是下午了，等我们把旅馆搞定后，天色已开始转暗，我们匆匆向城内赶去，希望还有机会去参观一下著名的耶稣大教堂（Church of Jesus Christ）。车还没有驶入市中心地带，我就已经远远的看到了教堂顶上的小金人儿了，这不仅使我想到上一次来的情形，真叹是匆匆岁月，物是人非啊！
7点钟，彩灯准时亮起，大教堂在深蓝的夜幕和炫目的彩灯下显得格外宏伟壮观，被夜色衬托的小金人儿也更显辉煌。大家纷纷驻足掏出相机狂按了起来，我没有做任何拍照准备，只带了可以随身携带的小相机，连三脚架也留在了车上，所以只有随手按了两张，照片不是很清楚，只能在脑海里印下这美丽的景象了。我们去参观了摩门教的North Visitor's Center，了解了一下摩门教的历史。19世纪时，由于宗教种类众多，摩门教的创始人Joseph Smith十分困惑，不知道该加入哪一个教堂，于是他祈祷上帝祈求帮助。上帝因此而赋予他权利，让他根据自己的理解去翻译“The Book of Mormen”，这也就是摩门教和摩门圣经的由来。在此之前，我只知道摩门教的另一位元老，Brigham Young，之所以知道他，是因为那曾经到中国来演出的杨柏翰大学舞蹈团了。那可能还是我读小学时候的事儿了，那个时候的中国远远不像现在这么开放，有一个美国来的大学舞蹈团表演跳舞是很大的新闻了，所以我那个年代的老老小小都知道有这么一个杨柏翰。再后来听到这个名字是上一次来盐湖城的时候了，那时对摩门教一点儿都不了解，只知道摩门教徒一个老公可以有四个老婆，只要是男生路过这儿都愿意留下加入摩门教。来了之后才知道，其实那早已不适用正规的摩门教徒了，只有一个摩门教的旁教还在沿袭这一传统。而一夫四妻这一习俗也是由于摩门教创始后遭到其他教派迫害，当时的也是摩门教第二代精神领袖Brigham Young只能带领大家往还很原始的美国中西部迁移，以逃避迫害。由于旅途遥远艰险，致使很多男性因疲劳疾病致死，从而留下众多女眷。我记不太清是因为女性不可以单独争得土地还是因为她们没有能力开发土地，总之那些存活下来小部分男性就担当起照顾众多女性的责任，因此也就出现了一夫多妻制。后来因为社会发展没有这个必要后，摩门教也就废除了这一制度，所以现在也只是一夫一妻制。
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Do I need to move again?
It's almost been a year since I live in my current apartment. I got a letter from leasing office recently, and my rent will increase a lot if I continue living here -- about 200 bucks more than what I pay currently. I went to the leasing office trying to negotiate the price, but they don't allow bargaining at all. Either pay that much or just move out.
Will I be moving again? I'm sooooooo tired of moving now.
When will I stay at a place I would feel secure like a real home? I feel like I'm wandering in this world, there is no solid base for me anywhere to settle down. Not only a physical place to live, but also a mental place for my heart to stay in and rely on.
The Needles, Cayon Land National Park
Will I be moving again? I'm sooooooo tired of moving now.
When will I stay at a place I would feel secure like a real home? I feel like I'm wandering in this world, there is no solid base for me anywhere to settle down. Not only a physical place to live, but also a mental place for my heart to stay in and rely on.
The Needles, Cayon Land National Park
My First Badminton Tournament
I had my first badminton tournament yesterday. I played 6 games, 2 double and 4 single. I did ok in the tournament, nothing out of expectation. I thought I would be very nervous, but I was pretty relaxed actually. My partner for the double game seems more nervous than I was in the game.
We used the new badminton rule. 21 points, every serve counts a point. It's much faster to play this way, you cannot make any mistake, and otherwise you loose one point. I have never practiced in this way before, so it's kind of weird to me, I didn't even know which side to serve when I was in the game.
I played for the beginning's level competition, since I only started to play badminton 4 month ago. I know I can beat all the female beginners even though they started a lot earlier than I did. And I did beat them in the game; score was ok, 21:10 and 21:7. I thought I may have a chance to beat one male beginner too, but too bad, I lost the game at 15:21. I know where my weakness is, my clear is really bad. I cannot clear the shutter lock to the back of the opponent's court, so it's easy for them to block my clear shot and just smash back. Need lots of practice on that!
F told me that I need to play for at least 2 and half years to get into the regular team; I wish I can do better than that!
Badminton games seem very easy to cause knee injury. I saw many good players in the regular team, who are called "handicap" by other players, because they all had surgery on their knees. There was a girl, she had a very serious injury, and had to stop for playing for like 2 years, now she started to recover and played in the tournament. But she cannot run much, so she only played in the double game, and her partner had to run like a hell. Better be careful while playing!
Capital Reef National Park, Utah
We used the new badminton rule. 21 points, every serve counts a point. It's much faster to play this way, you cannot make any mistake, and otherwise you loose one point. I have never practiced in this way before, so it's kind of weird to me, I didn't even know which side to serve when I was in the game.
I played for the beginning's level competition, since I only started to play badminton 4 month ago. I know I can beat all the female beginners even though they started a lot earlier than I did. And I did beat them in the game; score was ok, 21:10 and 21:7. I thought I may have a chance to beat one male beginner too, but too bad, I lost the game at 15:21. I know where my weakness is, my clear is really bad. I cannot clear the shutter lock to the back of the opponent's court, so it's easy for them to block my clear shot and just smash back. Need lots of practice on that!
F told me that I need to play for at least 2 and half years to get into the regular team; I wish I can do better than that!
Badminton games seem very easy to cause knee injury. I saw many good players in the regular team, who are called "handicap" by other players, because they all had surgery on their knees. There was a girl, she had a very serious injury, and had to stop for playing for like 2 years, now she started to recover and played in the tournament. But she cannot run much, so she only played in the double game, and her partner had to run like a hell. Better be careful while playing!
Capital Reef National Park, Utah
Monday, January 16, 2006
犹他行 -- 打牌记
偶除了不喜欢滑雪，还很不喜欢打牌。偶一直认为打牌浪费时间，所以每次朋友聚会打牌时，偶都会早早回家待着。这次犹他行，偶们主要是visiting national parks。由于是在christmas time，一到四点半，天就开始转黑了。为了不使漫长的夜晚大家觉得无聊，大帅哥和男id做好了充分的准备，带了三副牌，准备随时拉偶这个不打牌的下水。偶为了坚决不下水，也做好充分的准备，扛着偶砖一般沉的笔记本电脑，还外加一本厚厚的小说，就等着他们打牌时，偶可或码字，或看书的。
偶们游完capital reef national park，入住moab的第一晚，男生们就急不可待的拿出牌来准备开打了。偶正在往偶的笔记本里upload照片呢，打牌积极分子们就开始过来游说了。连女id也加入了游说队伍，又说什么四缺一，又说什么这将会是偶唯一一次在犹他打牌的机会。总而言之，偶非打不可。不得已，偶只好加入了他们的牌局。他们打得是“找朋友”。“找朋友”和八十分差不多，但开始时不知道谁会和谁是一家，坐庄的要叫一个牌，谁先出到那张牌就和庄家是一家，而其余三个人就成为要抢庄的那一家了。赢家可以升级，最后谁级别最低谁就得钻桌子。
偶凭着十多年前打八十分的基础，上手还不算太生疏，一打也就打起来了。这不打不知道，一打才发现，牌桌上简直就像另一个世界，就拿小J来说吧，平时除了偶尔讲两句冷笑话，大多时候都比较安静，没想到一到牌桌上，劲儿比谁都足，话也比谁都多，估计他在牌桌上的话要比他整个犹他trip中加起来的话还多。偶是新手上台，运气奇佳。倒也并不是说牌特别的好，只是很感觉偶是长了翅膀的小天使，抱着哪条大腿，哪条就连着跳几级，也顺带着把偶跳了上去。所以第一天牌局结束后，偶和女id最厉害，已经打到了7，大帅哥最差，才3。于是偶们吵着要大帅哥钻桌子，没想到以前觉得大帅哥挺爽气一人儿，一到牌桌上竟会如此扭捏，怎么也不肯钻，非说得有人打到A以后，那最低级别的才钻。说得偶们也没办法，只能第二天接着再打下去。
第二天晚上开打时，偶和女id是7，男id是6，小J是4，大帅哥是3。所以大帅哥从一开始就紧盯着小J，想要将小J拖下去以免自己去钻桌子。打着打着，轮到了大帅哥坐庄。这时，大帅哥来了一幅千载难逢的好牌，不仅一溜大小猫，主还奇长，副牌也极佳。大帅哥正兴奋的摩拳擦掌，心想终于有机会翻身了。偶突然发现，偶手里没分！按规矩，没分可以造反，然后大家重新抢庄。但是偶的主和副牌并不算差，正犹犹豫豫得想要不要造，男id和小J在一旁都按耐不住了，积极劝说偶造反。现在想来，他们能不劝偶造吗？偶和大帅哥的牌都不错，可以想象他们手里都是什么垃圾牌了！大帅哥一看偶有要造反的架势，急的嗓门儿也大了，汗也下来了，帅哥风范也不知跑哪儿去了，一个劲儿的拉拢偶，说什么一定会找到偶作朋友的，偶们一定可以跳级的，等等。偶思前想后，觉得男生的话不能太相信，就准备征询一下女id的意见。殊不知女id打牌和偶一样，是个不动脑筋的主儿，觉得这场面乱哄哄的特好玩儿，也就跟着男id小J他们瞎起哄，跟偶说造了吧。于是偶一把就把大帅哥千载难逢的好机缘给造了。估计是这一把把大帅哥给造伤了，只听大帅哥在一旁长吁短叹的，偶们又打了半天了还时不时地听到他在唠叨可惜他那一把好牌啊。之后偶又是级级连跳，不一伙儿，偶就打到J了，而大帅哥还在3上徘徊呢。不过一看偶打到J，大帅哥的希望又来了，眉飞色舞的告诉偶一新rule，说什么主钩钩到底，副钩钩一半，也就是说，偶坐庄打J时，如果最后被对家用主钩抠底，偶就得降级打回2，如果是用副钩抠，偶就得降级打回6。总而言之，偶是不能让对家用钩抠底的啦。结果，偶牌运极好，上来一副牌几乎全主，找到的朋友是男id，一对主钩全在他手里，彻底打消了大帅哥要钩偶打回2去给他垫底的企图。haha 偶这把是直接跳上打老K，赢得大帅哥没脾气。接下来偶又连升带跳的，最后牌局以偶打到第二轮的3告终，大帅哥临了还只有打到第一轮的4，偶超了他几乎整整一轮！终于等到大帅哥要钻桌子了，这可是支持偶连续两天打牌的唯一动力啊！偶兴奋的扭过头去对男id叫：“快把你的相机拿来，偶们得把这珍贵的瞬间好好留个纪念！”
接下来，就是偶整个犹他行中最难忘的时刻。偶满怀憧憬的一回头，眼珠子差点儿从眼眶里掉出来了，只见大帅哥已经从桌子的另一头爬了出来，他怎么推开椅子，钻下桌子，以及钻桌子的整个过程偶都没有看见！大帅哥为了避开偶们给他拍照，使用了如此卑鄙的手段，趁着大家不注意，先钻为强。5555555 偶觉得这牌打的好亏啊！
North Window, Arches National Park
偶们游完capital reef national park，入住moab的第一晚，男生们就急不可待的拿出牌来准备开打了。偶正在往偶的笔记本里upload照片呢，打牌积极分子们就开始过来游说了。连女id也加入了游说队伍，又说什么四缺一，又说什么这将会是偶唯一一次在犹他打牌的机会。总而言之，偶非打不可。不得已，偶只好加入了他们的牌局。他们打得是“找朋友”。“找朋友”和八十分差不多，但开始时不知道谁会和谁是一家，坐庄的要叫一个牌，谁先出到那张牌就和庄家是一家，而其余三个人就成为要抢庄的那一家了。赢家可以升级，最后谁级别最低谁就得钻桌子。
偶凭着十多年前打八十分的基础，上手还不算太生疏，一打也就打起来了。这不打不知道，一打才发现，牌桌上简直就像另一个世界，就拿小J来说吧，平时除了偶尔讲两句冷笑话，大多时候都比较安静，没想到一到牌桌上，劲儿比谁都足，话也比谁都多，估计他在牌桌上的话要比他整个犹他trip中加起来的话还多。偶是新手上台，运气奇佳。倒也并不是说牌特别的好，只是很感觉偶是长了翅膀的小天使，抱着哪条大腿，哪条就连着跳几级，也顺带着把偶跳了上去。所以第一天牌局结束后，偶和女id最厉害，已经打到了7，大帅哥最差，才3。于是偶们吵着要大帅哥钻桌子，没想到以前觉得大帅哥挺爽气一人儿，一到牌桌上竟会如此扭捏，怎么也不肯钻，非说得有人打到A以后，那最低级别的才钻。说得偶们也没办法，只能第二天接着再打下去。
第二天晚上开打时，偶和女id是7，男id是6，小J是4，大帅哥是3。所以大帅哥从一开始就紧盯着小J，想要将小J拖下去以免自己去钻桌子。打着打着，轮到了大帅哥坐庄。这时，大帅哥来了一幅千载难逢的好牌，不仅一溜大小猫，主还奇长，副牌也极佳。大帅哥正兴奋的摩拳擦掌，心想终于有机会翻身了。偶突然发现，偶手里没分！按规矩，没分可以造反，然后大家重新抢庄。但是偶的主和副牌并不算差，正犹犹豫豫得想要不要造，男id和小J在一旁都按耐不住了，积极劝说偶造反。现在想来，他们能不劝偶造吗？偶和大帅哥的牌都不错，可以想象他们手里都是什么垃圾牌了！大帅哥一看偶有要造反的架势，急的嗓门儿也大了，汗也下来了，帅哥风范也不知跑哪儿去了，一个劲儿的拉拢偶，说什么一定会找到偶作朋友的，偶们一定可以跳级的，等等。偶思前想后，觉得男生的话不能太相信，就准备征询一下女id的意见。殊不知女id打牌和偶一样，是个不动脑筋的主儿，觉得这场面乱哄哄的特好玩儿，也就跟着男id小J他们瞎起哄，跟偶说造了吧。于是偶一把就把大帅哥千载难逢的好机缘给造了。估计是这一把把大帅哥给造伤了，只听大帅哥在一旁长吁短叹的，偶们又打了半天了还时不时地听到他在唠叨可惜他那一把好牌啊。之后偶又是级级连跳，不一伙儿，偶就打到J了，而大帅哥还在3上徘徊呢。不过一看偶打到J，大帅哥的希望又来了，眉飞色舞的告诉偶一新rule，说什么主钩钩到底，副钩钩一半，也就是说，偶坐庄打J时，如果最后被对家用主钩抠底，偶就得降级打回2，如果是用副钩抠，偶就得降级打回6。总而言之，偶是不能让对家用钩抠底的啦。结果，偶牌运极好，上来一副牌几乎全主，找到的朋友是男id，一对主钩全在他手里，彻底打消了大帅哥要钩偶打回2去给他垫底的企图。haha 偶这把是直接跳上打老K，赢得大帅哥没脾气。接下来偶又连升带跳的，最后牌局以偶打到第二轮的3告终，大帅哥临了还只有打到第一轮的4，偶超了他几乎整整一轮！终于等到大帅哥要钻桌子了，这可是支持偶连续两天打牌的唯一动力啊！偶兴奋的扭过头去对男id叫：“快把你的相机拿来，偶们得把这珍贵的瞬间好好留个纪念！”
接下来，就是偶整个犹他行中最难忘的时刻。偶满怀憧憬的一回头，眼珠子差点儿从眼眶里掉出来了，只见大帅哥已经从桌子的另一头爬了出来，他怎么推开椅子，钻下桌子，以及钻桌子的整个过程偶都没有看见！大帅哥为了避开偶们给他拍照，使用了如此卑鄙的手段，趁着大家不注意，先钻为强。5555555 偶觉得这牌打的好亏啊！
North Window, Arches National Park
Thursday, January 12, 2006
犹他行--今天，你穿棉毛裤了吗？
偶本来是没有想要去犹他玩的。偶从圣诞到新年有10天假，一直想要去远的地方玩，可苦于找不到同伴。所以原定计划只是和朋友们去lake tahoe玩三天。偶其实是最不喜欢滑雪的了，偶的运动细胞还算不错，但就是对滑雪不感冒。一是偶生来怕高，二是虽然偶生在冬天，可是却特别怕冷，三是偶是一天生胆小怕死者，惧怕摔跤。偶一生来一共去滑过两次雪，虽有被教练夸为有天分，可每次都觉得是花钱买罪受。所以去lake tahoe滑雪也真是没别的办法了。在山上呆三天只准备滑一天雪，外带吃，喝，码字，打电游两天的。好歹滑一天也没算白来一趟吧。没想到临行前一星期，打完羽毛球和球友吃饭聊天，才发现不止是偶一人有长假啊，于是几个朋友一拍即合，决定去犹他玩。
犹他路线是由大帅哥定下来的，偶门除了会路过las vegas和salt lake city外，主要时间都会在visiting national parks。去之前，偶兴冲冲的查了一下天气预报，心里的热乎劲儿一下降到冰点。还是偶的地理知识太差啊，查了才发现犹他的冬天真是很寒冷啊！气温都在摄氏正负二度左右，偶是已经被加州的好天气宠坏了，想起这么低的温度，就浑身起鸡皮疙瘩，急忙翻箱倒柜地把偶刚出国时从国内带来的棉毛裤翻出来了。偶一边从箱子底下使劲地往外抽棉毛裤，一边暗自夸自己英明，偶自打出国后n次搬家，每次都捉摸着要把这棉毛裤捐了，每次想想都又留下了，真是英明啊！不像女id，临出发还得特地去买一条。hehe
偶们路经vegas时，气候爽朗，偶开始后悔带棉毛裤了，没想到从vegas往犹他开的路上就下起了snow storm，气温骤降（可参考如厕记）。第二天清晨，偶躺在床上，就开始犹豫不决到底要不要穿棉毛裤上路。女id洗澡出来，偶正要张口问她，没想到她先开口了，“你今天穿不穿棉毛裤啊？”hehe，看来大家都不想只自己一人傻乎乎的穿着棉毛裤出门。于是偶们相约一同穿好棉毛裤出门，在门口见到隔壁男生，偶们又张嘴齐问，“你们穿棉毛裤了吗？”就是想求得一心理平衡，总觉得要是别人都没穿只有自己穿多亏似的。问下来发现大帅哥和小J都穿了，只有男id硬挺着没穿。这下可好，4比1，偶属于多数者，感觉好很多啊！
走进capital reef national park，寒风阵阵，不只是棉毛裤，偶把帽子，围巾，手套全戴上了。一看男id，还那儿敞着外套的前襟瞎逛游呢。而且，他连牛仔裤都没穿，只穿了一条夏天穿的那种裤腿可以分两节的hiking pants。偶们都不相信他有这么好的抗寒能力，大帅哥坚持说他一定穿了棉毛裤，就是不想偶们知道罢了。说的男id巨无奈，只好将裤腿的拉链拉开给偶们检查。不看不知道，一看吓一跳，他还真是没穿棉毛裤，只是那大腿是--紫色的！紫色的大腿啊！从此，男id除了众多的id外，又多了一个“紫色的大腿”的雅称！于是乎，这有穿棉毛裤的就整天开着紫色大腿的玩笑，包括厕所上的多了，也是因为没有穿棉毛裤的关系--因为冷，冻得，本来应该是出汗的，因为没穿棉毛裤，只能去如厕了；还有hiking路走得快，也是这紫色大腿的功劳，没穿棉毛裤，负担比较轻么。说的男id整一个没脾气！
每天早上，偶和女id都要大眼瞪小眼的问一句“你今天要穿棉毛裤吗？”穿了怕中午会热，怕hiking太累，不穿怕冻成紫色的大腿。每每犹豫不决时，就打电话到男生的房间去问他们有无穿，偶们也真是够无聊的，hehe。后来以至于男生一早见到偶们就主动汇报他们今天有没有穿棉毛裤。“今天，你穿棉毛裤了吗？”也成为偶们此次犹他行发明的最新流行用语！
Sunset @ Arches National Park
犹他路线是由大帅哥定下来的，偶门除了会路过las vegas和salt lake city外，主要时间都会在visiting national parks。去之前，偶兴冲冲的查了一下天气预报，心里的热乎劲儿一下降到冰点。还是偶的地理知识太差啊，查了才发现犹他的冬天真是很寒冷啊！气温都在摄氏正负二度左右，偶是已经被加州的好天气宠坏了，想起这么低的温度，就浑身起鸡皮疙瘩，急忙翻箱倒柜地把偶刚出国时从国内带来的棉毛裤翻出来了。偶一边从箱子底下使劲地往外抽棉毛裤，一边暗自夸自己英明，偶自打出国后n次搬家，每次都捉摸着要把这棉毛裤捐了，每次想想都又留下了，真是英明啊！不像女id，临出发还得特地去买一条。hehe
偶们路经vegas时，气候爽朗，偶开始后悔带棉毛裤了，没想到从vegas往犹他开的路上就下起了snow storm，气温骤降（可参考如厕记）。第二天清晨，偶躺在床上，就开始犹豫不决到底要不要穿棉毛裤上路。女id洗澡出来，偶正要张口问她，没想到她先开口了，“你今天穿不穿棉毛裤啊？”hehe，看来大家都不想只自己一人傻乎乎的穿着棉毛裤出门。于是偶们相约一同穿好棉毛裤出门，在门口见到隔壁男生，偶们又张嘴齐问，“你们穿棉毛裤了吗？”就是想求得一心理平衡，总觉得要是别人都没穿只有自己穿多亏似的。问下来发现大帅哥和小J都穿了，只有男id硬挺着没穿。这下可好，4比1，偶属于多数者，感觉好很多啊！
走进capital reef national park，寒风阵阵，不只是棉毛裤，偶把帽子，围巾，手套全戴上了。一看男id，还那儿敞着外套的前襟瞎逛游呢。而且，他连牛仔裤都没穿，只穿了一条夏天穿的那种裤腿可以分两节的hiking pants。偶们都不相信他有这么好的抗寒能力，大帅哥坚持说他一定穿了棉毛裤，就是不想偶们知道罢了。说的男id巨无奈，只好将裤腿的拉链拉开给偶们检查。不看不知道，一看吓一跳，他还真是没穿棉毛裤，只是那大腿是--紫色的！紫色的大腿啊！从此，男id除了众多的id外，又多了一个“紫色的大腿”的雅称！于是乎，这有穿棉毛裤的就整天开着紫色大腿的玩笑，包括厕所上的多了，也是因为没有穿棉毛裤的关系--因为冷，冻得，本来应该是出汗的，因为没穿棉毛裤，只能去如厕了；还有hiking路走得快，也是这紫色大腿的功劳，没穿棉毛裤，负担比较轻么。说的男id整一个没脾气！
每天早上，偶和女id都要大眼瞪小眼的问一句“你今天要穿棉毛裤吗？”穿了怕中午会热，怕hiking太累，不穿怕冻成紫色的大腿。每每犹豫不决时，就打电话到男生的房间去问他们有无穿，偶们也真是够无聊的，hehe。后来以至于男生一早见到偶们就主动汇报他们今天有没有穿棉毛裤。“今天，你穿棉毛裤了吗？”也成为偶们此次犹他行发明的最新流行用语！
Sunset @ Arches National Park
Saturday, January 07, 2006
犹他行 -- 如厕记 (3) -- 如厕经验谈
自此以后，男生的如厕问题就不是问题了。每去一个national park，男生们放眼望去，处处是厕所，经常性地在这个arch下，那个cayon里留点纪念。偶常想，习惯成自然，希望男生们不会将到处留念的习惯带回湾区吧。当然，除了男生，女生们（偶和女id）也养成了良好的习惯，主要有以下两点：
1。坐长途车时要少喝水多吃话梅，话梅生津止渴，而且唾液源于体内，又回归与体内，不会增加额外负担。这一点在回程路上充分体现出它的优势来。偶们从moab去provo的路上，不知何时大帅哥稀里糊涂给自己灌进一瓶水。偶们正在犹他大山中曲里拐弯呢，大帅哥强烈要求停车，迫使男id将车停在一前不着村后不着店的地方。大帅哥急冲冲的下了车，才发现视野真宽阔啊，不要说大树，就连小树及稍为高些的灌木都没有，无论怎么跑都在偶们的视野内。没办法，只能心一横，把男子汉大丈夫的英雄气概端出来，跑到车后10feet远处面山背highway解决问题。问题一定是有如长江之水滔滔不绝啊，偶们都在车里等半天了，不好意思从后视镜里偷窥一眼，帅哥还那儿站着呢。只见其身后车子一辆辆快速飞驰而过，大帅哥还是面不红，心不跳，神定气若地解决了问题。想想这要是偶和女id遇到这种情况，要多惨就有多惨了，好在偶们互相提醒，坚守好第一准则--少喝水，多吃话梅。
2。看到厕所必上，以备万一。自从第一次女id在野外作战过后，偶们就养成了看到厕所必上的习惯。不过中间在the needles也出过些小岔子，主要都是偶的错，先行承认错误，不要砸偶啊，要砸也拿巧克力砸啊！那天，偶们早上hiking完，就在trail出口处picnic吃午饭。吃完午饭还要赶到park另一处继续hiking。水足面包饱后，男id开始鼓励大家先去路边简易厕所解决下问题。偶当时觉得，第一那厕所气味极差，刚吃完饭不利于消化；第二，水还在胃里呢，肠子又曲里拐弯儿的，哪儿有这么快的一吃好就要解决问题的呢？所以偶坚持要到下一个hiking的地方再去解决，还说服大家一块和偶去下一个地方解决（拿巧克力砸啊）。谁知到了下一个hiking trail，才发现根本没有厕所，而且开来开去大家也开始感觉到问题的存在了，实在没办法，只好将车开回到park入口的visitor center去解决问题。浪费了不少时间，只是偶们后来loop的hiking trail走了不到一半又原路折回，不过此乃后话了。经验教训就是一定要看到厕所必上，多一次总好过少那关键的一次啊！
总结好经验教训，在长途的回程路上，偶和女id相互提醒，相互监督，终于一路坚持着平安回到湾区！:D
The needles, Cayonland National Park
1。坐长途车时要少喝水多吃话梅，话梅生津止渴，而且唾液源于体内，又回归与体内，不会增加额外负担。这一点在回程路上充分体现出它的优势来。偶们从moab去provo的路上，不知何时大帅哥稀里糊涂给自己灌进一瓶水。偶们正在犹他大山中曲里拐弯呢，大帅哥强烈要求停车，迫使男id将车停在一前不着村后不着店的地方。大帅哥急冲冲的下了车，才发现视野真宽阔啊，不要说大树，就连小树及稍为高些的灌木都没有，无论怎么跑都在偶们的视野内。没办法，只能心一横，把男子汉大丈夫的英雄气概端出来，跑到车后10feet远处面山背highway解决问题。问题一定是有如长江之水滔滔不绝啊，偶们都在车里等半天了，不好意思从后视镜里偷窥一眼，帅哥还那儿站着呢。只见其身后车子一辆辆快速飞驰而过，大帅哥还是面不红，心不跳，神定气若地解决了问题。想想这要是偶和女id遇到这种情况，要多惨就有多惨了，好在偶们互相提醒，坚守好第一准则--少喝水，多吃话梅。
2。看到厕所必上，以备万一。自从第一次女id在野外作战过后，偶们就养成了看到厕所必上的习惯。不过中间在the needles也出过些小岔子，主要都是偶的错，先行承认错误，不要砸偶啊，要砸也拿巧克力砸啊！那天，偶们早上hiking完，就在trail出口处picnic吃午饭。吃完午饭还要赶到park另一处继续hiking。水足面包饱后，男id开始鼓励大家先去路边简易厕所解决下问题。偶当时觉得，第一那厕所气味极差，刚吃完饭不利于消化；第二，水还在胃里呢，肠子又曲里拐弯儿的，哪儿有这么快的一吃好就要解决问题的呢？所以偶坚持要到下一个hiking的地方再去解决，还说服大家一块和偶去下一个地方解决（拿巧克力砸啊）。谁知到了下一个hiking trail，才发现根本没有厕所，而且开来开去大家也开始感觉到问题的存在了，实在没办法，只好将车开回到park入口的visitor center去解决问题。浪费了不少时间，只是偶们后来loop的hiking trail走了不到一半又原路折回，不过此乃后话了。经验教训就是一定要看到厕所必上，多一次总好过少那关键的一次啊！
总结好经验教训，在长途的回程路上，偶和女id相互提醒，相互监督，终于一路坚持着平安回到湾区！:D
The needles, Cayonland National Park
Friday, January 06, 2006
犹他行 -- 如厕记 (2)
车还没停稳，小J就跳了下去，同车的大帅哥和男id也纷纷嚷嚷就地方便吧。窗外只见雪花飘飘，离窗2feet外则漆黑一片，男生们一跳下车就不见了踪影，过不多时纷纷冲回车内，一个个冻得哆哆嗦嗦的但却满带轻松神情地叫好冷啊。湾区著名女id终于忍不住了，看着众位男战友惬意的表情，急得不停的喊我怎么办啊。女id年纪小，面子薄，实战经验也少，不像偶有长时间hiking资本，脸皮也已练得厚厚的。尽管大家一再劝导她实地解决，她还是不肯下车。男id不失时机地吹起了口哨，女id又气又急得满脸通红。偶看不下去了，作了一把英雄救美，撩起男id的皮夹克，壮烈的说“别怕，偶帮你挡着！”，和女id一同下了车。车外可真是北风那个吹，雪花那个飘啊，冻得偶一寒颤，心想这么冷的天，难怪大家都急着想上厕所呢。女id还在一旁观察地形，偶已经冻得快顶不住了，连忙撑开皮夹克，鼓励女id说“没事，挡着呢，尽快解决吧！”女id一面解决问题，一面对偶说sorry。偶帽子，围巾，手套全扔在车里，两手又撑着皮夹克，只能任凭那鹅毛大的雪片飘进偶的脖子里，耳朵里。本来想接女id的班解决问题的，这一冻，又没感觉了，纳闷偶怎么跟别人是倒着的呢？终于回到了车上，男id心痛的接回了自己的皮夹克，大叫一声“怎么全湿了！”
废话，这么大的雪片飘在衣服上能不湿吗！
Capital Reef National Park
废话，这么大的雪片飘在衣服上能不湿吗！
Capital Reef National Park
Thursday, January 05, 2006
犹他行 -- 如厕记 (1)
出门在外，很多事情都不会像在家里时那么方便，最不方便的也许就是上厕所了。如厕也分大小两种，先从小的说起吧，这又分男女之说，男生相对于简单许多，只要找棵大树或少许高的灌木就可解决，实在忍不住时，面壁背众也可将就。女生可就尴尬许多，尤其男女同游时，一时找不着厕所，忍着对不住自己的身体，说出来又怕面子上过不去，更不好意思在外解决，真是诸多尴尬。偶此次犹他行，同行者是湾区数大名人，有湾区第一大帅哥及湾区著名男女id，一路中遇到如厕情况种种，想来不亦乐乎！
首发是在从vegas去capital reef national park的路上。vegas天气明媚，排着长队等着吃完了china town美味的午饭，偶们离开vegas时已经是下午了。刚刚驶进犹他州，气候就开始大变啦，先是零星飘起了一些snow flake，偶们正在车里酸酸的感叹着要过一个white christmas，snow flake刹时转成了snow storm。开着开着，高速路中得分隔线就看不见了，SUV也由two wheel drive转成了four wheel drive。再开着开着，只听湾区著名男id叫起了S***，偶们才发现高速路旁的路标全被雪覆盖了，不幸的小J，（当时正好轮着他开车），只能凭着感觉向前进了，好在路上也没什么车，偶们也就经常横冲直撞的开在高速正当中。偶坐在驾驶座后，听到湾区第一大帅哥不停感叹好大的雪，也不禁伸过脑袋向挡风玻璃外望去。WOW，那个叫cool，硕大的雪片顺着挡风玻璃擦车身而过，在空气中留下一道道银色的痕迹，hehe，感觉偶们就像开在时光隧道中一般。偶正想抒发一下情怀，突然发现小J将车驶入了高速路旁的一个小岔口，停下来了。偶还以为他一路开雪道紧张的要换人了，岂不知是憋急了，准备就地解决。
首发是在从vegas去capital reef national park的路上。vegas天气明媚，排着长队等着吃完了china town美味的午饭，偶们离开vegas时已经是下午了。刚刚驶进犹他州，气候就开始大变啦，先是零星飘起了一些snow flake，偶们正在车里酸酸的感叹着要过一个white christmas，snow flake刹时转成了snow storm。开着开着，高速路中得分隔线就看不见了，SUV也由two wheel drive转成了four wheel drive。再开着开着，只听湾区著名男id叫起了S***，偶们才发现高速路旁的路标全被雪覆盖了，不幸的小J，（当时正好轮着他开车），只能凭着感觉向前进了，好在路上也没什么车，偶们也就经常横冲直撞的开在高速正当中。偶坐在驾驶座后，听到湾区第一大帅哥不停感叹好大的雪，也不禁伸过脑袋向挡风玻璃外望去。WOW，那个叫cool，硕大的雪片顺着挡风玻璃擦车身而过，在空气中留下一道道银色的痕迹，hehe，感觉偶们就像开在时光隧道中一般。偶正想抒发一下情怀，突然发现小J将车驶入了高速路旁的一个小岔口，停下来了。偶还以为他一路开雪道紧张的要换人了，岂不知是憋急了，准备就地解决。
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Happy New Year!
I celebrated 2006 New Year in Salt Lake City with my friends. We had a big new year eve dinner in a very nice restaurant -- 6 or 7 courses, very delicate. It took us almost 4 hours to finish the dinner; we had two bottles of wines. We were chatting during dinner time, joking around and laughed a lot. Suddenly, I heard claps behind my back, we turned around. I saw there is a young couple sitting by the table behind us, the young man just proposed to the pretty girl. The girl was still in shock; her hands were covering her mouth, tears on her face. She looked so beautiful with a diamond ring on her finger. The waitress rushed to the table, asking her "What did you say? Did you say 'Yes'?" She nodded and kept crying. Then somebody from our table sighed and made a comment about us -- "What a looser we are, stuck with each other on New Year's Eve!" Then the atmosphere started to cool down, everyone got into silence.
12 O'clock, the band started to sing, a waitress came in and gave each of us a "Happy New Year!" hat. We all wore it. People passed by the restaurant window and looked inside, they all looked happy. They gave us big smiles and shouted "Happy New Year!" to us. We smiled and waved back. But my heart felt very heavy. 3 glasses of wine didn't even make my heart feel a little lighter at all. I asked for Apple Martini. Restaurant is about to close, but I still want to drink more. We went to a bar; I had two tequila shots, not working at all. I'm more and more resistant to alcohol now -- bad sign. Felt really sad, just wanted to find a club to drink and dance the whole night, but this is Utah.
So this is my 2006 New Year’s Eve, feeling sad, not a good start! I really wish something could change, but how? Will I be able to change it?
2006 New Year Eve Salt Lake City
12 O'clock, the band started to sing, a waitress came in and gave each of us a "Happy New Year!" hat. We all wore it. People passed by the restaurant window and looked inside, they all looked happy. They gave us big smiles and shouted "Happy New Year!" to us. We smiled and waved back. But my heart felt very heavy. 3 glasses of wine didn't even make my heart feel a little lighter at all. I asked for Apple Martini. Restaurant is about to close, but I still want to drink more. We went to a bar; I had two tequila shots, not working at all. I'm more and more resistant to alcohol now -- bad sign. Felt really sad, just wanted to find a club to drink and dance the whole night, but this is Utah.
So this is my 2006 New Year’s Eve, feeling sad, not a good start! I really wish something could change, but how? Will I be able to change it?
2006 New Year Eve Salt Lake City
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Utah Trip
I'm in Utah right now. I took a trip with 4 friends. We drove all the way from San Jose to Utah to visit the national parks here. We've been to Arches National Park, Capital Reefs National Park and Cayonland National Park. It's a good trip. We hiked about 10 miles yesterday, and it was a tough hike. It's freezing here. And I'm very tired now, will write down some interesting stuff happened during the trip later after I go back home.
Delicate Arch
Delicate Arch
Thursday, December 22, 2005
人生如画
你说，你的人生就像一幅油画。婴儿时期的人生，只是一块雪白的画布，没有任何色彩。随着年龄的增长，画布上的颜色也越来越多起来。黄色是快乐，蓝色是平淡，绿色是安宁，紫色是忧郁，灰色是伤心... 每一种颜色都代表一种心情，每天你都会在自己的画布上添上一笔。少时多是鲜艳的颜色，因为那时，你没有太多烦恼，总是快乐的过着每一天。可是如果只是单一快乐的颜色，画并不会好看，因为颜色也是需要相辅相成的，有快乐的颜色，也一定要有忧伤的颜色来衬托。随着长大，烦恼也逐渐增多，画布上也时不时地出现灰紫的颜色。画面也越来越丰富，人生也越显越成熟。
我说，我希望我的人生是一幅水墨画，只有黑白两色。因为，我希望我的生活越简单越好，只有快乐和不快乐。快乐是白色，不快乐是黑色。而水墨画总是在一张大大的白色宣纸上寥寥勾画几笔。我希望我的人生就像水墨画一样简单，清爽，却不失飘逸，俊秀，偶有忧郁，但更多快乐！
我说，我希望我的人生是一幅水墨画，只有黑白两色。因为，我希望我的生活越简单越好，只有快乐和不快乐。快乐是白色，不快乐是黑色。而水墨画总是在一张大大的白色宣纸上寥寥勾画几笔。我希望我的人生就像水墨画一样简单，清爽，却不失飘逸，俊秀，偶有忧郁，但更多快乐！
冬至
雨停了两天，又在今天的午后淅淅沥沥的下了起来。马上就要过圣诞节了，公司的同事一个个离开去度假了，偌大的office building里空空荡荡得很是安静。到处是过节的气氛，收音机里永不停歇的播放着圣诞歌曲，街上，shopping mall前彩灯亮得耀眼，办公桌上也堆满了糖果... 可是我却没有任何过节的心情。最近心情比较乱，有很多思绪需要去理清楚，可又不知该从何下手。
为什么人总是渴望得不到的，却从不珍惜在手的，总是在失去后才觉得曾经拥有的是宝贵的，才觉得后悔莫及？是因为在手的总是得来太容易吗？
人和人之间的关系真是脆弱而又微妙。在爱的时候可以将自己全盘交出，因为有着那份信任和信念在支撑着，可一旦受到伤害后，剩下的只是冷漠和怀疑。从信任到怀疑只是一小步，可要从怀疑回到信任也许要花上一辈子。所以一定要珍惜别人对你的信任，万不可利用或滥用信任；否则伤害的可能不只是别人，也有可能是你自己。如果有误会一定要解释清楚，不要因为一时的气盛而伤害了感情...
今天是冬至，我的朋友对我说冬至应该吃汤圆。汤圆汤圆，团团圆圆，可是我又和谁团圆呢？
为什么人总是渴望得不到的，却从不珍惜在手的，总是在失去后才觉得曾经拥有的是宝贵的，才觉得后悔莫及？是因为在手的总是得来太容易吗？
人和人之间的关系真是脆弱而又微妙。在爱的时候可以将自己全盘交出，因为有着那份信任和信念在支撑着，可一旦受到伤害后，剩下的只是冷漠和怀疑。从信任到怀疑只是一小步，可要从怀疑回到信任也许要花上一辈子。所以一定要珍惜别人对你的信任，万不可利用或滥用信任；否则伤害的可能不只是别人，也有可能是你自己。如果有误会一定要解释清楚，不要因为一时的气盛而伤害了感情...
今天是冬至，我的朋友对我说冬至应该吃汤圆。汤圆汤圆，团团圆圆，可是我又和谁团圆呢？
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
How will the story end?
It's late now. I'm still at work. Don't feel like doing anything, just sitting here listening to Yiruma. Yiruma's music always makes me feel sad, but at the mean time, I feel peaceful, feel like I want to write something. But my mind is unclear, and I can't find a way to organize it. Often I think I'll just write it down; I'll write down my story, write down the good and the bad. Then I'll just put it in the closet and go on with my life. And maybe one day when I am really old, I'll take it out and read it, what will I feel at that time? Will I still cry, maybe I will be too old to cry; maybe my body will be so dry that it doesn't contain tear any more. Will I still feel the same way as I feel now? Maybe I'll just tell myself, how silly you are when you are at that age, how immature you are when you deal with feelings at that time; maybe I'll just laugh at myself. But still, I want to write it down, no matter what happened, I want to remember it.
Wondering how the story will end? Good story always has a sad ending, is this a good story? Maybe when I start to write, it will have its own life, it will know what the end will be like, will it?
Wondering how the story will end? Good story always has a sad ending, is this a good story? Maybe when I start to write, it will have its own life, it will know what the end will be like, will it?
一篇小说的旅程 (ZT)
一篇小说的旅程
几年前我在寂寞的旅途上，怀想一件旧事。一路上我都在思索着一个人，以及关于她种种索人费解的事情。许多不可名状而恼人的情思，驱赶着我从一个地方辗转到另一个地方，使那段漫长的旅程变得益加疲惫而落寞。于无比的困顿之中，我来到一个海滨城市，我决定住下来。我对那城市一无所知。那里没有我认识的人，也没有人认识我。我想，这样一个陌生的城市，一个跟现在和过去都隔绝的地方，应该很适合我捡拾自己的心情，整理一下过去。我告诉自己，我需要好好把过去梳理一遍，想清楚后，也许我便可以同那一段往事告别了。
我在濒海的一家酒店找到了一间顶楼的房间。那楼很高，是个圆柱形的建筑，隔街过去就是海水浴场。房间面向大海，弧形的落地窗视野极为开阔，将整个海湾尽收眼底。那天早上十点左右，我起来将窗帘拉开，站在窗前，慢慢地喝一杯咖啡，一边俯瞰着一望无际的海面。脑子里面仍然糊里糊涂，冥冥中总好像有一件事情没有完成，让我不得安宁。这时候太阳照在我的脸上，有一种明亮的清爽。我突然就明白了，我需要写一篇小说，这样我便能够把过去的路重新走一遍，也可以将一路上匆忙遗落的时光捡回来；或许通过这种方式，往昔的音容笑貌可以重现，而我也终于能够明了其中的因果。于是我将笔记本打开，面朝大海开始写作。
我试图写一个关于寻找的故事，故事中的主人公是我早前遇到的一个女孩子。那个女孩和我没来由地相遇，相见恨晚，一度很亲近。后来她走了，走得很匆促，没有多说，也不惶解释，无声无息便消失在人海里。这样一种仓惶的分手，给我留下了太多的疑问，许多话还来不及说，也有许多事情未及问，这一段过往因之变得闪闪烁烁，不明不白。我总是觉得，在我们中间，曾经有过一点什么，发生过一些事情，可是又总是朦朦胧胧，象雾里看花，既捉摸不住，也看不真切，似乎一切都没有发生，也未曾存在。而关于她，我好像有满肚子的话要说，却又说不出来；或许我曾经离她很近，一切便变得不准确，使我不知道说什么好。我只感到那是个象荧光一样的女子，就象雾气弥漫的夜晚，树丛里遥遥的一只日光灯；或者是雨霁后的月亮，迢迢地隐在轻云那一端。
我便常想，她到底是谁？是怎么样的一个人？她最终要去哪里？ 然而这一切都是无法破解的谜语，象一把沉重的锁，关闭了通向过去之门。我的思考及回忆每到这门前，就象遭遇了一道断层，变得恍恍惚惚，扑朔迷离。
我在那城市度过了一个星期。白天大多的时候都是坐在写字台前，看着窗外湛蓝的海，回忆着往昔的一点一滴。但是我的写作进行得很不顺利，脑子里依旧是一团乱麻，理不清楚。于是我打开门，让自己象一片浮沫，飘荡在这个城市熙攘的人海之中。我徜徉于大街小巷，几乎走遍了整个城市，并不说话，只静静地观看，静静地思想。我的心情，也如那城市夏日海边的风，软软的懒。
每天晚饭后我都去海边的一个广场，捱到夜深，独自看苍茫的海。四顾也无人，倒仿佛我成了那城市的守更人。很远的海面上有游船驻锚，舷上的灯光在水中潋滟，飘飘摇摇有如离人的眼眸。待到夜深，那灯便一盏一盏熄灭，好比人已经离去。偶尔不知道什么地方，老远地就传来一声悠长的汽笛，让人不由得转过头去寻找，把心也连带着漂浮在那一眼看不到边的黑暗远方。于是心中陡然就多了一种漂泊的感触，有岁月流逝的怅惘，人生无常的寥落。往事也如一串幻灯片，在幽幽的海面上忽隐忽现，清晰而又断续。挟带着我的心思，在那个陌生的城市里，有一下没一下地明暗。
等到午夜过后，我便去一家很小的网吧上网。它在一道山岗之上，一间骞促的房间，五、六台机器，键盘磨损到认不出字迹。这个不知名的地方，不会有人留意，也乏人问津。每天我都要的同一台机器，远程登录到美国的伺服器，处理一天的电邮。这个小小的网吧，成了我和我原来世界的纽带，也成为我回到现实的窗口。夜总是很静，往往只有我一个客人，陪着昏昏欲睡的主人。临走时，我照例要回头看一眼这个小店，那台阶上方有一盏日光灯，影影绰绰的，掩映在松林之中，看去象朦朦胧胧的往事。门外有几盆茉莉，淡淡的花香传得很远，迷茫得让人心痛。
我的小说在那个城市悄悄地开了个头，踉踉跄跄地还来不及走远，就随着我轻轻地拎着自己的心，离开了。我去的时候不认识任何人，到走的时候也没有结识任何人；最大的收获，是我在那个城市不为人知的一个角落，把心里面积存很久的事情悄悄地开掘出来，摊在明晃晃的太阳底下，细细地检阅。后来我去过很多地方，都是非常遥远、人迹罕至的地方。我把那故事带在身边，一边思索，一边继续着那小说，日积月累，一点一点就写得很长，但却一直没有写完。因为那故事也象有了它自己的生命，不断地成长丰富，也不断地起着变化。最出乎意料的一幕，是当我终于构思好结尾的时候，里面的主人公却以最料想不到的方式，再一次出现在我的视线中。
那已经是几年后的事情了，是个晚秋日子，树上的叶子已经泛黄，天色于晦暗中透着澄明。那个女孩从人丛中径直走过来，定定地站在我前面，说：是我。你的眼睛告诉我，你还记得我的。然后她拿过我的手，将手放进我的手心，眼睛直直地看着我的眼睛，轻声地说：我知道你在找我。都过去好几年了，现在我来到你的身边，我想看看你。她的声音有些沙哑，但是那眼睛里没有任何歉然，也找不到一丝忧伤，有的，只是一片稳稳妥妥的诚恳。
她就是这么一个人。来了，又去了，总是没有任何预兆，也从来不打招呼。来的时候惊鸿照影，去的时候水过无痕，象精灵一般翩然，象谜一样神秘。这样的一个人，这样的一件事，让我迷惑，也让我思考。
如果我们生存的世界的确是尼采眼中的世界，如果我们生命的每一个瞬间都会经历永劫回归这一无穷重复的过程，那么一次性发生的事件，一次性消失的生活，譬如惊鸿一瞥的邂逅，譬如昙花一现的美丽，都对我们的人生没有任何意义，象影子一样没有份量。这样的事件，尚未开始就已经结束，也就等于从未发生，从未出现。设若如此，我的小说便是毫无意义的浪费生命，它早应该结束，或者干脆就不该开始。然而，我如何才能判定，我所面对的事情，在漫长的未来不再重演？
因而这小说始终不能完成；因为里面的故事迟迟不肯结束，而且似乎永不会结束。我最终放下笔，也放弃了我的思考和尝试，不再探究它的根源，也不再追索它的去向。我一直认为，我连年的旅途都是一个寻找的过程。但是我越来越弄不清楚，到底是在寻找那个似真似幻的影子，还是在寻找失落的自己，或者我的寻找已经没有任何具体的意义，而仅仅是一个象征，一种寄托？我试图接受一种新的人生态度：大概世界上许多事情都没有答案，也没有结果，人生尤是；也许，寻找本身就是生命的目的，而寻找的结果只能是新的一轮追寻。我想这样也好，世事不尽完美，人生诚多遗憾。在一个风流云散的年代，在一个永劫回归的世界，一切都是瞬息，一切都将过去，No time is a good time for goodbye，no ending can be a good ending。
而我们，只是大地与时间的匆匆过客，光阴长河里面的一个水分子，随时可以蒸发，随时可以消逝，微不足道，渺不可言。
可不是吗，你看，眼睁睁地，一年又奄奄地过去了。我甚至不知道，我所忆念的那个人，我小说中那个梦幻一般的影子，是否能读到我此刻的心情。但是她应该知道，那漫天的灯火中，还有那寒夜沁凉的空气里，都有我遥远但真切的祝福。我的小说途经之处，都为她种植着祈愿的常春藤。那四季常青的植物，不会发声，也不懂得分说，只默默地生长，长出世间温柔的怜悯和由衷的期许。
几年前我在寂寞的旅途上，怀想一件旧事。一路上我都在思索着一个人，以及关于她种种索人费解的事情。许多不可名状而恼人的情思，驱赶着我从一个地方辗转到另一个地方，使那段漫长的旅程变得益加疲惫而落寞。于无比的困顿之中，我来到一个海滨城市，我决定住下来。我对那城市一无所知。那里没有我认识的人，也没有人认识我。我想，这样一个陌生的城市，一个跟现在和过去都隔绝的地方，应该很适合我捡拾自己的心情，整理一下过去。我告诉自己，我需要好好把过去梳理一遍，想清楚后，也许我便可以同那一段往事告别了。
我在濒海的一家酒店找到了一间顶楼的房间。那楼很高，是个圆柱形的建筑，隔街过去就是海水浴场。房间面向大海，弧形的落地窗视野极为开阔，将整个海湾尽收眼底。那天早上十点左右，我起来将窗帘拉开，站在窗前，慢慢地喝一杯咖啡，一边俯瞰着一望无际的海面。脑子里面仍然糊里糊涂，冥冥中总好像有一件事情没有完成，让我不得安宁。这时候太阳照在我的脸上，有一种明亮的清爽。我突然就明白了，我需要写一篇小说，这样我便能够把过去的路重新走一遍，也可以将一路上匆忙遗落的时光捡回来；或许通过这种方式，往昔的音容笑貌可以重现，而我也终于能够明了其中的因果。于是我将笔记本打开，面朝大海开始写作。
我试图写一个关于寻找的故事，故事中的主人公是我早前遇到的一个女孩子。那个女孩和我没来由地相遇，相见恨晚，一度很亲近。后来她走了，走得很匆促，没有多说，也不惶解释，无声无息便消失在人海里。这样一种仓惶的分手，给我留下了太多的疑问，许多话还来不及说，也有许多事情未及问，这一段过往因之变得闪闪烁烁，不明不白。我总是觉得，在我们中间，曾经有过一点什么，发生过一些事情，可是又总是朦朦胧胧，象雾里看花，既捉摸不住，也看不真切，似乎一切都没有发生，也未曾存在。而关于她，我好像有满肚子的话要说，却又说不出来；或许我曾经离她很近，一切便变得不准确，使我不知道说什么好。我只感到那是个象荧光一样的女子，就象雾气弥漫的夜晚，树丛里遥遥的一只日光灯；或者是雨霁后的月亮，迢迢地隐在轻云那一端。
我便常想，她到底是谁？是怎么样的一个人？她最终要去哪里？ 然而这一切都是无法破解的谜语，象一把沉重的锁，关闭了通向过去之门。我的思考及回忆每到这门前，就象遭遇了一道断层，变得恍恍惚惚，扑朔迷离。
我在那城市度过了一个星期。白天大多的时候都是坐在写字台前，看着窗外湛蓝的海，回忆着往昔的一点一滴。但是我的写作进行得很不顺利，脑子里依旧是一团乱麻，理不清楚。于是我打开门，让自己象一片浮沫，飘荡在这个城市熙攘的人海之中。我徜徉于大街小巷，几乎走遍了整个城市，并不说话，只静静地观看，静静地思想。我的心情，也如那城市夏日海边的风，软软的懒。
每天晚饭后我都去海边的一个广场，捱到夜深，独自看苍茫的海。四顾也无人，倒仿佛我成了那城市的守更人。很远的海面上有游船驻锚，舷上的灯光在水中潋滟，飘飘摇摇有如离人的眼眸。待到夜深，那灯便一盏一盏熄灭，好比人已经离去。偶尔不知道什么地方，老远地就传来一声悠长的汽笛，让人不由得转过头去寻找，把心也连带着漂浮在那一眼看不到边的黑暗远方。于是心中陡然就多了一种漂泊的感触，有岁月流逝的怅惘，人生无常的寥落。往事也如一串幻灯片，在幽幽的海面上忽隐忽现，清晰而又断续。挟带着我的心思，在那个陌生的城市里，有一下没一下地明暗。
等到午夜过后，我便去一家很小的网吧上网。它在一道山岗之上，一间骞促的房间，五、六台机器，键盘磨损到认不出字迹。这个不知名的地方，不会有人留意，也乏人问津。每天我都要的同一台机器，远程登录到美国的伺服器，处理一天的电邮。这个小小的网吧，成了我和我原来世界的纽带，也成为我回到现实的窗口。夜总是很静，往往只有我一个客人，陪着昏昏欲睡的主人。临走时，我照例要回头看一眼这个小店，那台阶上方有一盏日光灯，影影绰绰的，掩映在松林之中，看去象朦朦胧胧的往事。门外有几盆茉莉，淡淡的花香传得很远，迷茫得让人心痛。
我的小说在那个城市悄悄地开了个头，踉踉跄跄地还来不及走远，就随着我轻轻地拎着自己的心，离开了。我去的时候不认识任何人，到走的时候也没有结识任何人；最大的收获，是我在那个城市不为人知的一个角落，把心里面积存很久的事情悄悄地开掘出来，摊在明晃晃的太阳底下，细细地检阅。后来我去过很多地方，都是非常遥远、人迹罕至的地方。我把那故事带在身边，一边思索，一边继续着那小说，日积月累，一点一点就写得很长，但却一直没有写完。因为那故事也象有了它自己的生命，不断地成长丰富，也不断地起着变化。最出乎意料的一幕，是当我终于构思好结尾的时候，里面的主人公却以最料想不到的方式，再一次出现在我的视线中。
那已经是几年后的事情了，是个晚秋日子，树上的叶子已经泛黄，天色于晦暗中透着澄明。那个女孩从人丛中径直走过来，定定地站在我前面，说：是我。你的眼睛告诉我，你还记得我的。然后她拿过我的手，将手放进我的手心，眼睛直直地看着我的眼睛，轻声地说：我知道你在找我。都过去好几年了，现在我来到你的身边，我想看看你。她的声音有些沙哑，但是那眼睛里没有任何歉然，也找不到一丝忧伤，有的，只是一片稳稳妥妥的诚恳。
她就是这么一个人。来了，又去了，总是没有任何预兆，也从来不打招呼。来的时候惊鸿照影，去的时候水过无痕，象精灵一般翩然，象谜一样神秘。这样的一个人，这样的一件事，让我迷惑，也让我思考。
如果我们生存的世界的确是尼采眼中的世界，如果我们生命的每一个瞬间都会经历永劫回归这一无穷重复的过程，那么一次性发生的事件，一次性消失的生活，譬如惊鸿一瞥的邂逅，譬如昙花一现的美丽，都对我们的人生没有任何意义，象影子一样没有份量。这样的事件，尚未开始就已经结束，也就等于从未发生，从未出现。设若如此，我的小说便是毫无意义的浪费生命，它早应该结束，或者干脆就不该开始。然而，我如何才能判定，我所面对的事情，在漫长的未来不再重演？
因而这小说始终不能完成；因为里面的故事迟迟不肯结束，而且似乎永不会结束。我最终放下笔，也放弃了我的思考和尝试，不再探究它的根源，也不再追索它的去向。我一直认为，我连年的旅途都是一个寻找的过程。但是我越来越弄不清楚，到底是在寻找那个似真似幻的影子，还是在寻找失落的自己，或者我的寻找已经没有任何具体的意义，而仅仅是一个象征，一种寄托？我试图接受一种新的人生态度：大概世界上许多事情都没有答案，也没有结果，人生尤是；也许，寻找本身就是生命的目的，而寻找的结果只能是新的一轮追寻。我想这样也好，世事不尽完美，人生诚多遗憾。在一个风流云散的年代，在一个永劫回归的世界，一切都是瞬息，一切都将过去，No time is a good time for goodbye，no ending can be a good ending。
而我们，只是大地与时间的匆匆过客，光阴长河里面的一个水分子，随时可以蒸发，随时可以消逝，微不足道，渺不可言。
可不是吗，你看，眼睁睁地，一年又奄奄地过去了。我甚至不知道，我所忆念的那个人，我小说中那个梦幻一般的影子，是否能读到我此刻的心情。但是她应该知道，那漫天的灯火中，还有那寒夜沁凉的空气里，都有我遥远但真切的祝福。我的小说途经之处，都为她种植着祈愿的常春藤。那四季常青的植物，不会发声，也不懂得分说，只默默地生长，长出世间温柔的怜悯和由衷的期许。
Monday, December 12, 2005
It's my birthday today!
Life is such a joke. The people you care the most always hurt you the worst. In this world, nobody you can really rely on, you can only rely on yourself.
It's my birthday today, and I'm on myself again. It's really painful; you don't feel anything except for the pain inside of your heart. Pain overflows, spreading to your whole body. You feel so helpless, but no one can give you a hand, no one you can talk to, you can do nothing except for crying. How useless you are! You are afraid, you are afraid that the tear will never stop, you are afraid it will dry your body, you are afraid of what is going to happen tomorrow. All your hopes are gone with the pain, the pain just eats your heart little by little, and your heart becomes more and more empty.
I drank a lot at my Birthday party hold by my friends. I used ice pack to ice my swollen eyes for long time before I went to the party, I don't think anyone can tell that I cried so much before the party. I put on makeup and sexy clothes to the party. My friends complimented me. I took all the drinks they bought me -- sangria, tequila shot, beer, B52, purple hooters, whatever has alcohol in it, I just drank bottom up. I wanted to get drunk, but weird, I didn't. I got buzzed, but I was not drunk, I still remembered what happened, and I could still control myself not to cry in front of my friends, I was still sober! I tried to have as much fun as I could, I asked each of my guy friends to give me a lap dance, and I laughed so loud, I looked so happy. I tried to convince myself what so big deal, but there is so much desperation and emptiness in my voice, because my happiness has been taken away.
I made my birthday wish. My friends tried to guess what it is, they never got even close.
I'm one year older now. It's not a good feeling to be one year older at my age now. Last year was a bad year to me; I had some happiness but more suffering. I hated my life. I hope I'll have a new life from today. I wish I will not be gullible any more so that I won't be easily hurt by people. I wish I can be as strong as what I thought of myself. I wish I'll have a simple happy life from now on. I wish...
Stop crying...
It's my birthday today, and I'm on myself again. It's really painful; you don't feel anything except for the pain inside of your heart. Pain overflows, spreading to your whole body. You feel so helpless, but no one can give you a hand, no one you can talk to, you can do nothing except for crying. How useless you are! You are afraid, you are afraid that the tear will never stop, you are afraid it will dry your body, you are afraid of what is going to happen tomorrow. All your hopes are gone with the pain, the pain just eats your heart little by little, and your heart becomes more and more empty.
I drank a lot at my Birthday party hold by my friends. I used ice pack to ice my swollen eyes for long time before I went to the party, I don't think anyone can tell that I cried so much before the party. I put on makeup and sexy clothes to the party. My friends complimented me. I took all the drinks they bought me -- sangria, tequila shot, beer, B52, purple hooters, whatever has alcohol in it, I just drank bottom up. I wanted to get drunk, but weird, I didn't. I got buzzed, but I was not drunk, I still remembered what happened, and I could still control myself not to cry in front of my friends, I was still sober! I tried to have as much fun as I could, I asked each of my guy friends to give me a lap dance, and I laughed so loud, I looked so happy. I tried to convince myself what so big deal, but there is so much desperation and emptiness in my voice, because my happiness has been taken away.
I made my birthday wish. My friends tried to guess what it is, they never got even close.
I'm one year older now. It's not a good feeling to be one year older at my age now. Last year was a bad year to me; I had some happiness but more suffering. I hated my life. I hope I'll have a new life from today. I wish I will not be gullible any more so that I won't be easily hurt by people. I wish I can be as strong as what I thought of myself. I wish I'll have a simple happy life from now on. I wish...
Stop crying...
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Who needs more money?
I just bought an Ipod Video for myself as X'mas gift. I was thinking of buying Ipod nano before, it's very small and light, but not big enough storage for me. I need to use it to store my pictures so that I don't have to carry my laptop with me everywhere I travel. Luckily, not long after nano came out, Ipod released this new product -- Ipod video. It's thin, light, good looking, big size screen, and the space can go up to 60G, which is perfect for what I need, even though I finally decided to go for the 30G one. 1G a day, I can store pictures for about a couple of weeks on the road, and still have enough space for some music, maybe a little video. :)
Besides Ipod, I just realized that there are so many things I need to buy -- I need to buy some accessories for my new Ipod, such as a good looking case, docking station etc; I also need an external hard drive to store all the pictures and music, right now my laptop space is almost full with those; a very small compact digital camera, so that I can take it into my small purse when I dress pretty and go out at night, then I need to get 1G SD card for it... So many things!
I was chatting with my friend J the other day, she asked me that how come I never go shopping with them. All my girl friends go shopping for clothes, shoes or purses almost every weekend. She asked me whether I am saving money for something. Well, I think that's part of the reason, and I prefer shopping for clothes myself most of the time, 'cause I can really take time to look for what I like and try it on. Also, if I go with other girls, I may end up buying something which I don't really like only because other girls think it's good on me or tell me it's worth to buy because it's on big sale ... Anyway, while I was chatting with her, I was thinking, geeeze, girls need a lot more stuff than guys. Girls spend a lot more money on clothes, pretty dress, purses, shoes and cosmetics than guys do, and we also need to buy electronic gadgets like guys need. There are much more places we need to spend money, but we don't get as much pay as guys do. Then J said:” No, it's not true! Guys spend more money than girls! Guys need to pay for girls!!!" Ha, exquisite! But it doesn't apply to me! :P I buy for myself, just need some excuse when I spend money, such as X'mas gift for myself, my Birthday gift, or something like I lost a few pounds -- eating ice cream is a reward. :P
Besides Ipod, I just realized that there are so many things I need to buy -- I need to buy some accessories for my new Ipod, such as a good looking case, docking station etc; I also need an external hard drive to store all the pictures and music, right now my laptop space is almost full with those; a very small compact digital camera, so that I can take it into my small purse when I dress pretty and go out at night, then I need to get 1G SD card for it... So many things!
I was chatting with my friend J the other day, she asked me that how come I never go shopping with them. All my girl friends go shopping for clothes, shoes or purses almost every weekend. She asked me whether I am saving money for something. Well, I think that's part of the reason, and I prefer shopping for clothes myself most of the time, 'cause I can really take time to look for what I like and try it on. Also, if I go with other girls, I may end up buying something which I don't really like only because other girls think it's good on me or tell me it's worth to buy because it's on big sale ... Anyway, while I was chatting with her, I was thinking, geeeze, girls need a lot more stuff than guys. Girls spend a lot more money on clothes, pretty dress, purses, shoes and cosmetics than guys do, and we also need to buy electronic gadgets like guys need. There are much more places we need to spend money, but we don't get as much pay as guys do. Then J said:” No, it's not true! Guys spend more money than girls! Guys need to pay for girls!!!" Ha, exquisite! But it doesn't apply to me! :P I buy for myself, just need some excuse when I spend money, such as X'mas gift for myself, my Birthday gift, or something like I lost a few pounds -- eating ice cream is a reward. :P
Monday, November 21, 2005
Nepenthe
My bubble world finally broke. All the colorful imaginations fell into small pieces; my heart is falling with them, trying to catch all the pieces in vain. It tried so hard, but the piece it caught has already turned into grey color. My heart kept falling, there is no end, and there is no place it can rest, so tired.
I heard that 70% of human's body is water. I think at least 5% of the water is tears. I'm 3% less weight than what I was yesterday morning. Crying probably is a good solution to loose weight. Just need to remember, eat less salt, 'cause tear is really bitter.
If you have a potion of Nepenthe, will you drink it? I always thought that I won't. Whatever I went through or am going through is my own life experience, it helps me to grow. But sometime, maybe a little potion can make things a lot easier...
I heard that 70% of human's body is water. I think at least 5% of the water is tears. I'm 3% less weight than what I was yesterday morning. Crying probably is a good solution to loose weight. Just need to remember, eat less salt, 'cause tear is really bitter.
If you have a potion of Nepenthe, will you drink it? I always thought that I won't. Whatever I went through or am going through is my own life experience, it helps me to grow. But sometime, maybe a little potion can make things a lot easier...
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Badminton Badminton Badminton
Hmmm, I haven't updated my blog for a while. What have I been doing these days besides working, eating and sleeping? Practicing badminton.
Yeah, I'm really into badminton now. I played 3 times last week, Wednesday lunch time, Wednesday night and Sunday afternoon. I went to practice last night again, I'm sore everywhere now. But it's a good workout for me. :)
It all started the first time I played with my co-workers. I did so horrible, everybody beats me. I got 0-15 when I played with B for single game. I don't like to be beaten; I need to have my revenge game sometime soon.
That reminds me of how I started to play ping-pong at work. When I first started to play PP, I was very bad, I can't serve, I can't smash, and I can't even return any spin ball. I probably was the worst player in the team back then. But I enjoyed the game and I like to be competitive. So I practiced and asked all the better players to play with me. I didn't have good PP skill, so I worked on strategy, playing with brain, trying to hit the ball to the unexpected corner so that it's hard for my opponent to return. I practiced a lot and I got better and better, then I started to beat one by one. It was like in a video game, I played with a good player, and I beat him. Then I went to challenge the better player, I beat him... Finally I beat the best player in the team at that time, and won my PP champion title.
I guess I have that competitive side in me since I was young. I remembered that when I was in the second year in high school, we had a math quiz in the beginning of the semester. I failed the quiz and only got 45, the lowest score in the class. I was shocked by myself; my math teacher was shocked too. My math teacher came to talk to me, I felt so embarrassed that I just kept crying. Then I made up my mind to study really hard on math. From then on, for all the quizzes, I never had a score below 90, no matter how many students failed those quizzes. In the last year of high school, I was one of the two students who represented my high school to compete in the Shanghai high school students’ math competition. And I got 3rd rank.
It's the same thing in badminton game. I know I'm not as good as the other people, so I need more practice; I need to work hard on my skill and foot works. And I really enjoy playing it. Hopefully, I’ll get a lot of improvement and have my revenge game in a few months. :P
Yeah, I'm really into badminton now. I played 3 times last week, Wednesday lunch time, Wednesday night and Sunday afternoon. I went to practice last night again, I'm sore everywhere now. But it's a good workout for me. :)
It all started the first time I played with my co-workers. I did so horrible, everybody beats me. I got 0-15 when I played with B for single game. I don't like to be beaten; I need to have my revenge game sometime soon.
That reminds me of how I started to play ping-pong at work. When I first started to play PP, I was very bad, I can't serve, I can't smash, and I can't even return any spin ball. I probably was the worst player in the team back then. But I enjoyed the game and I like to be competitive. So I practiced and asked all the better players to play with me. I didn't have good PP skill, so I worked on strategy, playing with brain, trying to hit the ball to the unexpected corner so that it's hard for my opponent to return. I practiced a lot and I got better and better, then I started to beat one by one. It was like in a video game, I played with a good player, and I beat him. Then I went to challenge the better player, I beat him... Finally I beat the best player in the team at that time, and won my PP champion title.
I guess I have that competitive side in me since I was young. I remembered that when I was in the second year in high school, we had a math quiz in the beginning of the semester. I failed the quiz and only got 45, the lowest score in the class. I was shocked by myself; my math teacher was shocked too. My math teacher came to talk to me, I felt so embarrassed that I just kept crying. Then I made up my mind to study really hard on math. From then on, for all the quizzes, I never had a score below 90, no matter how many students failed those quizzes. In the last year of high school, I was one of the two students who represented my high school to compete in the Shanghai high school students’ math competition. And I got 3rd rank.
It's the same thing in badminton game. I know I'm not as good as the other people, so I need more practice; I need to work hard on my skill and foot works. And I really enjoy playing it. Hopefully, I’ll get a lot of improvement and have my revenge game in a few months. :P
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Halloween party
Fall is leaving. Orange color everywhere, it's Halloween again. I decided to join the company's Halloween party this year, the biggest question is what to wear? I have been an Indian girl, and a Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon girl in the past years, what should I be this year?
Costume contest is always fun, fun to watch, more fun to participate. You can see all kinds of costumes, cheap, fancy, funny, creative, good or bad. I have a skeleton costume at home, but I decided to go a little sexy. :P Cow girl seems a good idea, I have the whole outfit -- jean shirt, jean skirt, fancy belt, boots and cow boy hat, and I even have a handcuff. So I tried out my clothes at home Saturday. I put everything on, and looked into the mirror, hmmmm, not too bad, and the best part about this outfit is that it's ZERO cost! :D No need to spend extra money on costume. I even found a handkerchief to put on as a mask, so I can look like a western gangster. But I need a gun to look like a real gangster. So over the weekend, I went everywhere looking for a cowboy gun with holster, but unluckily, I cannot find any. It's sold out in Halloween store and all the other toy stores don't carry toy guns any more. :( So I have to be a gangster without a gun.
I went to work this morning with my whole cow girl outfit, I even put on my real leather jacket. I'm an Asian Cow girl gangster -- or whatever I look like. Then I started to chat with my co-worker V, luckily, she said her son may have a toy gun, and her hubby is going to meet her for lunch, so I borrowed a toy gun from her son, which made me look like a real gangster. :)
I went to the costume contest. I was a little disappointed that not many people dressed up, but there were some very cool costumes. Lots of kids were running around in their costumes, little spider man or fairies. Every kid is getting a 7 (full score) from the judges. Dan dressed up like a cow boy, and he has some really cool gadgets -- a nice cow boy gun with holster, real spurs he just got in today by mail, and nice cow boy hat. Since he got the real spurs, he gave me his toy ones. So I even have a pair of spurs on my boots, I felt more and more like a real cow girl gangster. :P But when Dan went on to the stage, I heard someone is asking how come he worn the same outfit as last year. Geeeze, do people really remember what costumes other people wear every year?
My favorite one is the guy as the little red riding hood. He is hilarious, he has beard and moustache, but wearing a red cape with black skirt and a basket. When it’s his turn to show off his costume, he just hopped on to the stage, and went to give the judges bribes -- cookies from his basket. So he got 7 from all the judges. This really is -- 拿人家手短，吃人家嘴短。
My Costume
Costume contest is always fun, fun to watch, more fun to participate. You can see all kinds of costumes, cheap, fancy, funny, creative, good or bad. I have a skeleton costume at home, but I decided to go a little sexy. :P Cow girl seems a good idea, I have the whole outfit -- jean shirt, jean skirt, fancy belt, boots and cow boy hat, and I even have a handcuff. So I tried out my clothes at home Saturday. I put everything on, and looked into the mirror, hmmmm, not too bad, and the best part about this outfit is that it's ZERO cost! :D No need to spend extra money on costume. I even found a handkerchief to put on as a mask, so I can look like a western gangster. But I need a gun to look like a real gangster. So over the weekend, I went everywhere looking for a cowboy gun with holster, but unluckily, I cannot find any. It's sold out in Halloween store and all the other toy stores don't carry toy guns any more. :( So I have to be a gangster without a gun.
I went to work this morning with my whole cow girl outfit, I even put on my real leather jacket. I'm an Asian Cow girl gangster -- or whatever I look like. Then I started to chat with my co-worker V, luckily, she said her son may have a toy gun, and her hubby is going to meet her for lunch, so I borrowed a toy gun from her son, which made me look like a real gangster. :)
I went to the costume contest. I was a little disappointed that not many people dressed up, but there were some very cool costumes. Lots of kids were running around in their costumes, little spider man or fairies. Every kid is getting a 7 (full score) from the judges. Dan dressed up like a cow boy, and he has some really cool gadgets -- a nice cow boy gun with holster, real spurs he just got in today by mail, and nice cow boy hat. Since he got the real spurs, he gave me his toy ones. So I even have a pair of spurs on my boots, I felt more and more like a real cow girl gangster. :P But when Dan went on to the stage, I heard someone is asking how come he worn the same outfit as last year. Geeeze, do people really remember what costumes other people wear every year?
My favorite one is the guy as the little red riding hood. He is hilarious, he has beard and moustache, but wearing a red cape with black skirt and a basket. When it’s his turn to show off his costume, he just hopped on to the stage, and went to give the judges bribes -- cookies from his basket. So he got 7 from all the judges. This really is -- 拿人家手短，吃人家嘴短。
My Costume
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